I’m purposely posting this in every category because it is 3:33 AM and this is pissing me off. If you don’t give a damn, just click Back. – Yea, I hate being poor. People say “Oh, Hawai’i! Must be awesome living there!” Umm… HELL NO it’s not. Especially in Salt Lake, there’s the military side and then the poor side – I happen to live on the poor side. People pay $1500 on average for a damn 2 bedroom apartment. People think money is important to me but it really isn’t. I’d just like to live comfortably. Here is a list of why I hate being a brokeass. Also, I don’t even swear but it tends to come out in my writing when I’m angry or trying to express myself. So sorry ahead of time for the colorful language.

  1.  I would like to be able to do things like I don’t know… go to the movies like once every couple months but nnnooooo. Or other kinds of recreational stufs.
  2.  I have a “father” who was supposed to send child support and he dnever did because he is a noncaring bitchass. Sadly, my mom is sending him child support although I haven’t lived with him for about 3 years now. He even claims me on taxes. Oh! His name is Christopher Ng. Yea, figured I’d mention it so everyone who reads this knows. NO SHAME. A lot of my writing mentions him nd his wife.
  3.  I get to walk around looking at people who have laptops and new shoes and update their phones every couple months, knowing I could only do that if I stole the shit. They take it for granted – all that $500+ shit they have. They even walk around complaining about their parents not giving them MORE shit. Shut the hell up dumbasses. At least you got a damn laptop and an iPad and whatever else. Stfu.
  4. I hate having excess “fend for yourself” nights in which I either don’t eat, or have to eat something cheap like saimin (AKA Ramen) or something.
  5. If say, a teacher says “You need to do this assignment on index cards and only index cards. I won’t be accepting anything else.” they don’t give a shit if you don’t have a ride. They don’t give a shit if you think using 2 bucks is better spent on some food. –__–
  6.  Once I get something new, people start telling me how I must have a lot of money. And I can only respond with “Yea… it only took me 2 years to finally get this $200 item.”
  7. When someone leaves something valuable at a bus stop or something and the person is still there, I tell them they forgot their -whatever it was-, secretly hoping one day someone will do the same for me. Or give me that valuable item. –__– IT KILLS TO DREAM.
  8. I can’t get anything for people’s birthdays. It makes me seem sssoooo selfish and noncaring but I honestly can’t afford anything. Last Birthday present I gave to someone (Jasmine) was a free DVD of the movie “Vampires Suck” currently unavailable on DVD.
  9. I can’t actually donate to different causes either. I’d like to donate to things like organizations that help people who suffered from abuse or something, but I can’t. So I just live on knowing I can’t help anyone because my poorness holds me back.
  10. I already mentioned that I can’t afford the expensive shit, but hell I can’t afford regular everyday stufs either. I know of people who claim to be poorer than me who at least have those channels like HBO or Cinemax or Starz or ShowTime. I don’t have those. People who claim to be poorer than me also magically tend to carry more money than me. Mhmm….. sure.
  12. I’m a pretty easy person to please, but seriously I don’t understand why I have to suffer in literally every area of my life. I have nothing at all going good for me. Venting only works for the next couple hours and then I’m back to this feeling. this feeling that’s been throughout this entire post. Stopping here because I don’t want to end on 13.

THE CURE (MAYBE): I know of a simple remedy for this unhappiness- grow and smoke marijuana. I would ask for it medically, but I doubt anyone in my family would agree with me. They didn’t agree with Xanax either. Then again, marijuana is one of the most non-toxic medical substances. That just so happens to help with anxiety, depression, and chronic body pain (Hmm, these are my daily symptoms. Every minute of the day)……………………………………….. *sigh* LIFE SUCKS. FCK YOU LIFE! FIX ME!

    • ur ntee
    • October 5th, 2010

    see if u stayed with the evil women u woulda scored i think

  1. lol, marisol venting helps. It did give you at least one hour of not feeling poorly! I think you should publish your poems, that is an awesome way to make money. I think you should really try and make a name for yourself and money. Someday you will be a very well known writer. Write your own “sista souljah” story and sell it off your stool at the apartment. You have it in you 🙂

    • Jasmine
    • October 5th, 2010

    Just so you know I really appreciated the gift and you didn’t haveto give me money too lol. I mean “Happy Birthday” would have made my day. Which a certain friend never said me :*(
    Even after you did. ANYWAYS I knida of know how you feel about that becasue I get allowence taken back and “taxed” often, but I know I’m lucky becasue of what I have. I think your dad is a serious jackass and agree with lynnaima. MAKE A BOOK:)
    That way when you become super famous your dad is going to become a well known jackass:D

    • Jasmine
    • October 5th, 2010

    and I love you:)

    • Francine Parrish
    • October 6th, 2010

    You are indeed hurting, try not to focus on the things that you don’t have, and more on the things you do have, like!!! A caring gandma D, and your creative mind, continue your writting, speak to your english teacher about entering into writing competitions. Let your name be know for being a great writer. (Never turn to drugs as a way out……..)
    In life there are to roads: one to DESTRUCTION and one to LIFE.

    • Mom
    • October 6th, 2010

    I have told you this many times before and I will tell you this again. You and I are eachothers cure. I have been in pain for not having you physically in my life and I know you’re in pain for not having me physically in your life. I am not rich but I strongly believe that you would live very comfortably here with us in Florida.

    Here in Jacksonville, Florida, $1500/mo will get you into a 3 bedroom 2 bathroom house, apartment, or condo. The cost of living in Hawaii is high and the flights to Hawaii are extremely high as well.

    Count your blessings Marisol, things could be worse but they’re not. The use of any type of drug will only spread more unhappiness. Please avoid the use of drugs. You’re smarter than that, please, I beg of you. I love you.

    • Mari Carmen
    • October 7th, 2010

    Marisol please we are very proud of you , you know ho hurt you ,,, i will give my life to see you here ,if you don’t like later go back to Hawaii ,,but please let me know ok ,you have a house here you are very smart lady and the most important we love you , and please don’t use drugs only the drugs of love the inside of you ,CAME OVER FOR 2 MONTH IF YOU WANTED PLEASE PLEASE i give to you my word you will love it

    • Will
    • December 2nd, 2010

    I know things look bad but you should try to focus on the good. You obviously have friends and family who love you very much. It would be nice to have it all but then again where would you put it? Life is just about collecting new and shiny things. No one should ever haver to choose between eating and getting new things. Keep writing because it makes you happy and for extra cash find ways to make some moeny, try looking for part time job etc..
    Instead of donating money to a good cause try donating a little time. Did I mention to keep writing? It is a way to document and validate your life. It is ok to be angry about the world but do not let it define who you are. Your dad is a jerk and there is nothing you can do to change that fact so move on, it is his loss not yours. Stay positive and keep writing…..

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